Doing or not doing, that’s the question (column)
The fun of being awake is that it’s effortless. Doing by not doing sounds very special and wise, but it doesn’t amount to anything if you just avail yourself of the opportunity to look. What does doing mean? Well, for instance it means to conjure with negative thoughts or expectations. These are giving you such a nice feeling of ‘self’. To condemn others or yourself, to keep your personal history up in the air. To resist an emotion or feeling that is raising to free itself. To hold on to so called loved ones or family members, to worry. All of that is doing.
Most people do not live in the energetic space that is tangible in what you call the body, but in the narrow, jam-packed loft of their head. Where cobwebs, old junk, non-investigated but cherished believes are living, and spooks and secrets. To mistake the chatterbox in your head for who you really are, that is doing.
Just being does not take much. It is already there, free and for nothing. To continually deny the reality that you are no-thing, that is doing and it requires truckloads of energy. To comply with, to anticipate, to try to be here and now, wanting to get rid of something, to get hold of something, to prove you are good enough, to conquer a new lover again and again, wanting a better job, all of that is doing-business. Indeed these are the kind of strategies that will never be fulfilling, but will keep you imprisoned in the illusion of the separate self. The inner dialogues keep you away from reality. That is the way to remain the slave to the jabberer.
Often I say to people that my work is utterly simple and consequently does not take much. My function is to be the henchman of your intuition, nothing more, nothing less. I am telling you what in fact you already know, but try to escape from again and again. Because you have talked yourself into believing that it is dangerous to pursue what is true and real (in you). Because you fear freedom and what it would possibly cost to be authentic. And your ego is blind by definition to the costs of not being yourself.
Fulfillment does not come from your achievements in the world, what you accomplish or how many Fakebook-friends you have, or how many guru’s you have visited or how many spiritual experiences you have had. Fulfillment is the result of not doing: the simple and direct experience of (for lack of better words) an energetic conscious space that is already there. The direct relaxation in BEING. Now.
Each thought, beautiful or ugly, is rising in it and is dissolving in it again. Learning to feel this availability is of crucial importance when you want to be free and genuine. To cling to the jabberer will restrict and poison your life. It is as simple as that. Whatever it is you are thinking, it is about a made up ‘I’. Whatever you fear or believe or wish, it is coming from the made up I, from the prison ward – I would almost say: from the devil (for the so called Christians amongst us). Didn’t Jesus say already that we should submit ourselves? That we should have to lose our life? With that he simply meant the rejection of the false self, the storyteller, the believer. To believe is doing. To believe in the story of self is doing.
Consciousness does not need belief, worship or support. The Father is not some-one. Neither is the Holy Spirit. You and the Father are not-two. The Holy Spirit can touch (you) now, each moment there is the possibility of waking up. You are busy doing or you are. If you are, even if it is for just a short moment, you will be touched and the spontaneous recognition can come into being that you are the radiant emptiness, instead of some-one being born here or there or representing this or that or some-one who should pay attention to no matter what.
I-thinking is doing. Observing is being. To pose or conceal one’s uneasiness is doing, to fully and integrally experience something as it is, is being. To resist is doing, it’s just giving in to fearful thinking. This whole thing you belief you are, but what in fact you only observe, is just fear in action. Who bows for fear is imprisoned and is wasting his or her chances. The one who is standing and breathing and just feeling and observing, has a chance.
Breathe on little sister (or brother), breathe on. Step back. Feel and observe whatever is rising and dissolving. What comes and goes is not what you really are. You are the light (of consciousness), the life, the way (that is coming from or going nowhere). YOU ARE.
Text Hans Laurentius; Translation Johan Veldman